Latest update of The Online Net included an article by Jameson telling his school memories over the years as we come towards the end of our GCSEs, and at the end he urged others to add their own memories, as we come towards a new era in life and so on, so I am.

Pretty much the entireity of my life has been a fuzzle of information, some of which has been taken in, and i can account for solomnly, and other bits are stored in hidden places in my complex brian. if i want to remember them i can't, but some day i shall be doing something that reminds me of that time, and i will be able to quote from those present at the time, such as jesus once did to his deciples.

my life story begins, and up to this point doesn't really include any other locations apart from good old ipswich town. Certain members of the council tried to make it a city, but they realised that it is too shite, and contains not enough good quality prostitue pick-up points, and drug international drug exchanges to warrant the heralded title.

The earliest occurance in my life that i can remember is my first 'proper' day at bucklesham primary school, the first place that i was ever tried to be educated. the first day sticks vividly in my mind because of two reasons. the first being that i thought at the time, this shall be a day which i should remember for the rest of my life, the second being that my teacher Mrs Hall sat like a man, and flashed her large underpants to all of us young innocent children sitting on the floor infront of her.

After that there is a large gap in my memory, until what i think was year 4, we had Mrs Freeman as our teacher, who was a new age hippy, who always looked completely knackered. My classroom was a top quality port-a-cabin, which had been on the school grounds for so long, they had grown plants up the side of it, and put a disabled ramp up to the door, even though there were no disabled people in our school. my friends in those days were thomas mayes, fabled for his future business ambitions to set up a condom factory, dubbed under the name 'Mayes' dodgy condomcs' selling in two distinctive flavours, banana and chocolate. Funnily enough the only other thing i remember him by is when he once said "give us a quickie rachel" when playing cricket, and called to go in and clean the dinner tables at lunch.
As it were, the only reason we were playing cricket at the time, was because football had been banned for all, but the girls, because it 'wasn't the football season, and we were to take up a different sport for a few weeks' The rest my primary school career week in, and week out at lunchtime we played football. it was always year 6 vs. the rest, until they left, and we became year 6. Two incedents i remember whilst playing footy are kicking george in the bollocks after he dived, claiming that i had hacked him, and scoring a goal past simon riddleston from the halfway line.

There are only a few other things which i remember from my days at Bucklesham Primary School, most of these involve violence, funnily enough. Events such as Bridges standing on the wall in the playground with a brick, whilst we threw dry teabags at him, and him threatening to kill anyone who came close to him shall always stick in the mind. The only violence i ever portrayed was when i threw a stone at a window because Tom White said it was a new unbreakable one, and then when it cracked he went and dobbed me in, git.

Another comical thing i remember was leading up to the great year 6 production of Grease 2. Myself Tom White, and some others who i can't remember, possibly Osborne, spent a full day sticking black sugar paper onto my mums old bike, to make it look like a motor cycle for Alex Curtis to ride onto the stage, whilst singing something awful. the first time that it was taken for a 'test drive' around the playground Tom managed to rip most of the paper off, and i was very annoyed.

My first meeting of Jay was in year 5, after two other new recuits, these being Ian [therocketlauncher] and Bradford Jordan, i had pretty much given up hope for someone good at football, so that we might actually win against Peter Crane and Co at lunchtime. Strangely enough in a way my prayers were answered, with a monsieur twinkletoes himself. He flummuxed the opposition, to our heatily cheers. Another thing that Jay was good at was running, this was incredibly annoying as every single year up to the one he arrived, i had won the sports day 80m sprint. But for year 5 and 6 i had to be content, yet angrily left in his dust, and second place on the podium. I have since forgotten how to run, and i think he has too.

The last thing i can remember from Bucklesham Primary was our Year 6 'community service' headed by mr community himself, Douglas Stroud. For about two months we weekly went to Thomas Woolsey 'severly crippled in mind and body' childrens school. I along with crazy mayes crafted a 3D snake and ladders game, which was stupidly painted with poster paints, the first time that it was handed to a child from the school to play with, they dribbled on it, and all the paint ran, bugger, mayes almost cried to see his 2 months worth of work being digested

Looking back i can't see that i took that much away from Bucklesham School, in the way of stolen wares, or otherwise. Neither did i give much, so fair enough. I havn't been back to the place much since i thought i had left it for good, once i got some beefburgers, and another time i watched Ian [therocketlauncher] write the letters WC onto a shed in the playground with a split open ink cartridge

I would go on to talk about Kesgrave, but i am too tired now, and i shall leave it for another day<

Article Written by Rib
robhendy@btinternet.com