MAIN » ARTICLESAs Time Goes By (Randy's Version)
Latest update of The Online Net included an article by Jameson telling his school memories over the years as we come towards the end of our GCSEs, and at the end he urged others to add their own memories, as we come towards a new era in life and so on, so I am.
Where I come from is one of those mysteries that you devote your whole life to then as soon as you give up you find out that some student has come up with the solution because he had nothing better to do when the pub manager went to the shops and stopped serving drinks. Ask Rawson where I come from and he’ll tell you “Up North”, ask Zagni and he’ll deny he knows me, Zagni’s like that. The truth is I was actually born in right here in sleepy Ipswich as ‘David Francis Randall’. Like Jameson I lived in the rural village of Great Blackenham (Great Blackenham got its name due to the fact it is Greater than the similar Little Blackenham) but I went to Claydon Playgroup. The only memory I have of this eighth hell is some woman telling me that “There is no such word as can’t” which confused me greatly as I was sure she just said it.
I got out of there as soon as I could and found that metaphorically speaking there is always a bigger hill. The hill I am talking about is Claydon Primary School. This is where I met most of my other mates such as Daniel Palmer (who I keep in touch with), James Kennedy (Jameson’s arch-nemesis), Steven Law (I punched his teeth out using my fist by accident, not my foot as Jameson claims) there were some other people but I didn’t socialize with the ‘Lower People’. My first teacher was Mrs. Bowler; she had spent quite a lot of time in India and had obviously picked up a superiority complex. She always said to me “Oh look, here’s the boy who’s Mother doesn’t know how little work he does” which as you can imagine really pissed me off. She went back to India because she had left her heart in her dresser draw, I really hated her.
When I got into Year 1 Jameson and I was split up for safety reasons and I had to make some new friends in his absence. I met some other good friends such as David Southgate, Andrew Something and the first ever black man (well he was in my opinion). I also picked up an unexplainable knack of number crunching which caused even the most strong minded of teachers to back off when I approached them. We had some good times. I got first my first detention in Year 3 because my Mum didn’t pack my PE kit on the last day of school (Jameson also received this detention, we got it from the bitch. This is one of one thousand reasons why we call her bitch).
Jameson ran away from home at the end of Year 3 and his family was forced to follow him by the social services. I found myself having a lot of spare time so I joined a chess club. The only person who I could beat was this girl in my year from school. We became friends and sat on the same table in school and joked and stuff, when James Kennedy spread a rumor we were going out she didn’t deny it so I guess she was my first girl friend. Lot’s of stuff happened in Year 4 but I can’t really remember anymore. In Year 5 I moved to Grange Farm and I have lived here ever since. If you want to know what happened from Year 5 to 11 then see Jameson’s article because all the important bits are in there. Recently I have joined many clubs and discovered many new hobbies. I play rugby and golf, enjoy watching footy on the box, play magic, love the internet and music and am now a regular at LAN parties. I have become an eligible bachelor and have recently been in and out of a string of unsuccessful relationships. The problem with my last girl friend as Alan points out is that she was a man. Rawson left her because he said she was boring, I am inclined to agree.
Randy
Email me at daveangeluk@hotmail.com or alternatively don’t.
Article Written by Randy
daveangeluk@hotmail.com
Where I come from is one of those mysteries that you devote your whole life to then as soon as you give up you find out that some student has come up with the solution because he had nothing better to do when the pub manager went to the shops and stopped serving drinks. Ask Rawson where I come from and he’ll tell you “Up North”, ask Zagni and he’ll deny he knows me, Zagni’s like that. The truth is I was actually born in right here in sleepy Ipswich as ‘David Francis Randall’. Like Jameson I lived in the rural village of Great Blackenham (Great Blackenham got its name due to the fact it is Greater than the similar Little Blackenham) but I went to Claydon Playgroup. The only memory I have of this eighth hell is some woman telling me that “There is no such word as can’t” which confused me greatly as I was sure she just said it.
I got out of there as soon as I could and found that metaphorically speaking there is always a bigger hill. The hill I am talking about is Claydon Primary School. This is where I met most of my other mates such as Daniel Palmer (who I keep in touch with), James Kennedy (Jameson’s arch-nemesis), Steven Law (I punched his teeth out using my fist by accident, not my foot as Jameson claims) there were some other people but I didn’t socialize with the ‘Lower People’. My first teacher was Mrs. Bowler; she had spent quite a lot of time in India and had obviously picked up a superiority complex. She always said to me “Oh look, here’s the boy who’s Mother doesn’t know how little work he does” which as you can imagine really pissed me off. She went back to India because she had left her heart in her dresser draw, I really hated her.
When I got into Year 1 Jameson and I was split up for safety reasons and I had to make some new friends in his absence. I met some other good friends such as David Southgate, Andrew Something and the first ever black man (well he was in my opinion). I also picked up an unexplainable knack of number crunching which caused even the most strong minded of teachers to back off when I approached them. We had some good times. I got first my first detention in Year 3 because my Mum didn’t pack my PE kit on the last day of school (Jameson also received this detention, we got it from the bitch. This is one of one thousand reasons why we call her bitch).
Jameson ran away from home at the end of Year 3 and his family was forced to follow him by the social services. I found myself having a lot of spare time so I joined a chess club. The only person who I could beat was this girl in my year from school. We became friends and sat on the same table in school and joked and stuff, when James Kennedy spread a rumor we were going out she didn’t deny it so I guess she was my first girl friend. Lot’s of stuff happened in Year 4 but I can’t really remember anymore. In Year 5 I moved to Grange Farm and I have lived here ever since. If you want to know what happened from Year 5 to 11 then see Jameson’s article because all the important bits are in there. Recently I have joined many clubs and discovered many new hobbies. I play rugby and golf, enjoy watching footy on the box, play magic, love the internet and music and am now a regular at LAN parties. I have become an eligible bachelor and have recently been in and out of a string of unsuccessful relationships. The problem with my last girl friend as Alan points out is that she was a man. Rawson left her because he said she was boring, I am inclined to agree.
Randy
Email me at daveangeluk@hotmail.com or alternatively don’t.
Article Written by Randy
daveangeluk@hotmail.com