Looks like it’s time for another round of the most boring sport in the world, Tennis. After the world wide success of the glorious World Cup 2002 Korea Japan the people who run the Tennis organisation (I have no idea what it’s called) decided to host another Wimbledon Tennis Championship just before the World Cup Final is staged obviously to try and lure innocent Footy fans to the dark and evil world of International Tennis.

Not only that but apparently the only reason that they have it every year is to piss people like me off. The BBC is about to lose it’s licence to show the Simpsons and so have have all had the pleasure of viewing their entire collection over the past 3 months with delight. Not only that but Neighbours is intriguing as ever and recently some new plots have been revealed that should prove interesting viewing.

So I turn on to BBC1 at 5:35pm tonight expecting another dose of pleasure from everybody's favourite street but instead I get… Tennis.

So then I try to convince myself that it has been moved to BBC2 and that everything will be all right. I flick over the channel and witness… Tennis.

This is ridiculous. Do both really have to show matches on Terrestrial TV? I mean with Digital you get the interactive function which allows you to view whatever boring match your frivolous mind wants which means that all the matches can in theory be viewed on one channel. But they still insist on using up both BBC1 and BBC2 and personally if the Comedy Zone is overrun (which I hope to god it isn’t) then I will walk all the way to Television Central and do some righteous kicking of the teeth

I mean what is the point of Tennis? It’s the same thing over and over again, it takes up two channels at prime time, something that football never does with the exception of the final and England games which rarely occur in Prime Time and upset every bodies viewing. Not only that but as explained earlier the damn thing happens every damn year and it’s the same thing every time. Miles upon Miles of cretins queuing up to catch a glimpse of someone who enjoys hitting a ball with string over a fence over and over again. And Tim Henman always gets to the Semi/Quarter finals but always gets knocked out. And why do the matches always take 5 sets to finish without exception but it is possible to win it in 3? Probably just to waste more of our time.

I’m going now to crawl up in a corner and cry.

Prof. Dave Randeh
TON Magic Founder & Director

Article Written By Randy
daveangeluk@hotmail.com