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When I get hungry, whether it be in the morning or at night, there’s nothing I like better as a quick and tasty snack than a bowl of Frosties. Now, I call them Frosties, but to be perfectly correct, my usual bowl of sweetness is actually a bowl of ‘frosted flakes’ and not the more expensive, and possibly better quality market leader.
Shocked I was, to find a few days ago [see images alpha and beta], where my usual box of frosted flakes stood, a box of Tony the tiger’s own Frosties! Like a child on Christmas morning I excitedly pulled the box from the cupboard, and slipped my fingers under the shiny and thick cardboard lid to prise open the container, and get at the goodness inside. Slightly disgruntled I was to find inside, not a glowing box of flakes, as shown on the adverts on television, but rather a dull looking pile of the usually frosted flake looking things. Never-mind I told myself, there’s more to food than the packet that it comes in, and so i decided to stage a two man, or breakfast cereal fight if you wish, to see who will be the victor in the battle for my belly. The underdog, but commonly eaten frosted flakes, or the upper class, expensive, Frosties. The gloves are off, and the milk is on the table, let the fight begin!
image alpha - the usual scene in the cupboard, and reaction
image beta - the patented 'frostie' effect ( © )
ROUND ONE - the box
Tesco opt for an economy, three-colour box design, which gives the title of the product, but without making any mouths salivate beyond control. the frosted flakes on the front seem to 'fall' from the top of the image, down past the lettering, and into a puddle of awaiting milk. they try to save the day by offering the eater £2 off 'tap a tune xylophone, but seriously, im far too young to be able to master the complexities of such an instrument, tesco really have to sort out their marketting strategies, fast.
On the other hand, Kellogs seem to have put a lot of time and effort into making their box look both appealing, and exciting, almost at the same time. the large picture of tony the tiger pretty much ensures the sale straight away by quoting that "they're grrreat" but if that isnt enough, they hint that the Frosties have been made with Kellogs 'secret formula', how cool is that?!
left - tesco frosted flakes
right - kellogs frosties
ROUND TWO - the ingredients
The igredients of the two cereals is surprisingly similar, almost as if tesco have stolen tony's secret formula!
The differences being tesco offering me Dextrose and Pantothenic Acid, both 'musts' in a cereal. However kellogs try to even the score by slipping in a bit of calcuim carbonate for good measure.
The calorific values serve to content me that they cannot be the same products in different boxes, as Tescco's offer 101.18% of the energy per serving that Kellogs give me, thats 1.18% more for those not blessed with an education as i was.
Interestingly, both cereal packets warn that if you are alergic to nuts, you will probably die if you eat this product.
left - tesco frosted flakes ingredients
right - kellogs frosties ingredients
ROUND THREE - the taste test
This round is the most taxing, and i can tell the cereals are as nervous as i am, waiting the begin the round that is worth a whopping 40% of the entire review. with my spoon at the ready i frantically try to work out, not which cereal to eat first, that decision was easy, but which one was which. in my hunger driven madness to fill the bowls, and rush to the study to commence the eating, i had forgotten which one was which. i first thought that i would be able to compare the colours and like of the bowls to what was in the boxes in the kitchen, but then realised that the two bowls looked exactly alike, this mirors back to my earlier point about the two cereals being so similar to each other, they could be twin sisters, joined at the factory. oh well, i thought, ill just eat and review both, and then take a gamble at which one deserves what words of wisdom.
left - bowl of cereal
right - bowl of cereal
The first bowl i started on, had only just had milk added to it, this meant two things, the first being that the flakes were crunchy, and noisy, the second being that the milk still tasted like milk, and not milk with sugar from frosties/frosted flakes in it.
By the time i got to the second bowl i was getting a bit full, and wishing that i had only filled them to half way line, rather than the 'i am a fat bastard, and i eat too much frosties' line. Also, as i had added the milk to this bowl at the beginning of the test, the flakes had long gone past their soggy stage, and were well into their drowned, whoops stage. this made them a lot less apertising to look at en tour to my mouth, and hence lowered the quality of the eating experience considerably.
CONCLUSION - the conslusion
From this review i have learned that eating is not all fun, especially if you have to think at the same time as shoveling, this resulted in many 'missed mouth' spoonfuls which still reside on my left shoulder, slightly moist, the frosties and frosted flakes learned that i am a force to be reckoned with, that i will eat almost anything, even if it has juice from an animal's udder on it.
If you were too lazy to actually read the words of this article, for you i made up some numbers below which means you still don't have to read the rest of the text to get the jist of what has gone on for the last few pages, but then again you probably aren't reading this either, oh well, i tried.
i have marked on 4 catagories [the three rounds and one extra], adding up to 100 [ % ]
i would like to thank, primarily myself, for coming up with the idea of this article, myself for taking the pictures, myself for writing the text, myself for eating the frosties, and myself for being a genuis, i could also thank mother for buying the frosties + frosted flakes, and mr king for providing the webspace and an audience to read this crap, but i won't because i am a git.
Written by The Robe
rob.hendy@btinternet.com
Shocked I was, to find a few days ago [see images alpha and beta], where my usual box of frosted flakes stood, a box of Tony the tiger’s own Frosties! Like a child on Christmas morning I excitedly pulled the box from the cupboard, and slipped my fingers under the shiny and thick cardboard lid to prise open the container, and get at the goodness inside. Slightly disgruntled I was to find inside, not a glowing box of flakes, as shown on the adverts on television, but rather a dull looking pile of the usually frosted flake looking things. Never-mind I told myself, there’s more to food than the packet that it comes in, and so i decided to stage a two man, or breakfast cereal fight if you wish, to see who will be the victor in the battle for my belly. The underdog, but commonly eaten frosted flakes, or the upper class, expensive, Frosties. The gloves are off, and the milk is on the table, let the fight begin!
image alpha - the usual scene in the cupboard, and reaction
image beta - the patented 'frostie' effect ( © )
ROUND ONE - the box
Tesco opt for an economy, three-colour box design, which gives the title of the product, but without making any mouths salivate beyond control. the frosted flakes on the front seem to 'fall' from the top of the image, down past the lettering, and into a puddle of awaiting milk. they try to save the day by offering the eater £2 off 'tap a tune xylophone, but seriously, im far too young to be able to master the complexities of such an instrument, tesco really have to sort out their marketting strategies, fast.
On the other hand, Kellogs seem to have put a lot of time and effort into making their box look both appealing, and exciting, almost at the same time. the large picture of tony the tiger pretty much ensures the sale straight away by quoting that "they're grrreat" but if that isnt enough, they hint that the Frosties have been made with Kellogs 'secret formula', how cool is that?!
left - tesco frosted flakes
right - kellogs frosties
ROUND TWO - the ingredients
The igredients of the two cereals is surprisingly similar, almost as if tesco have stolen tony's secret formula!
The differences being tesco offering me Dextrose and Pantothenic Acid, both 'musts' in a cereal. However kellogs try to even the score by slipping in a bit of calcuim carbonate for good measure.
The calorific values serve to content me that they cannot be the same products in different boxes, as Tescco's offer 101.18% of the energy per serving that Kellogs give me, thats 1.18% more for those not blessed with an education as i was.
Interestingly, both cereal packets warn that if you are alergic to nuts, you will probably die if you eat this product.
left - tesco frosted flakes ingredients
right - kellogs frosties ingredients
ROUND THREE - the taste test
This round is the most taxing, and i can tell the cereals are as nervous as i am, waiting the begin the round that is worth a whopping 40% of the entire review. with my spoon at the ready i frantically try to work out, not which cereal to eat first, that decision was easy, but which one was which. in my hunger driven madness to fill the bowls, and rush to the study to commence the eating, i had forgotten which one was which. i first thought that i would be able to compare the colours and like of the bowls to what was in the boxes in the kitchen, but then realised that the two bowls looked exactly alike, this mirors back to my earlier point about the two cereals being so similar to each other, they could be twin sisters, joined at the factory. oh well, i thought, ill just eat and review both, and then take a gamble at which one deserves what words of wisdom.
left - bowl of cereal
right - bowl of cereal
The first bowl i started on, had only just had milk added to it, this meant two things, the first being that the flakes were crunchy, and noisy, the second being that the milk still tasted like milk, and not milk with sugar from frosties/frosted flakes in it.
By the time i got to the second bowl i was getting a bit full, and wishing that i had only filled them to half way line, rather than the 'i am a fat bastard, and i eat too much frosties' line. Also, as i had added the milk to this bowl at the beginning of the test, the flakes had long gone past their soggy stage, and were well into their drowned, whoops stage. this made them a lot less apertising to look at en tour to my mouth, and hence lowered the quality of the eating experience considerably.
CONCLUSION - the conslusion
From this review i have learned that eating is not all fun, especially if you have to think at the same time as shoveling, this resulted in many 'missed mouth' spoonfuls which still reside on my left shoulder, slightly moist, the frosties and frosted flakes learned that i am a force to be reckoned with, that i will eat almost anything, even if it has juice from an animal's udder on it.
If you were too lazy to actually read the words of this article, for you i made up some numbers below which means you still don't have to read the rest of the text to get the jist of what has gone on for the last few pages, but then again you probably aren't reading this either, oh well, i tried.
i have marked on 4 catagories [the three rounds and one extra], adding up to 100 [ % ]
|
|
|
Frosted Flakes |
Frosties |
|
Box |
[x/20] |
11 |
18 |
|
Ingredients
|
[x/20] |
16 |
13 |
|
Taste test
|
[x/40] |
4 |
34 |
|
20 marks
to make the total add up to 100 |
[x/20] |
20 |
20 |
|
TOTAL |
[x/100] |
51% |
85% |
i would like to thank, primarily myself, for coming up with the idea of this article, myself for taking the pictures, myself for writing the text, myself for eating the frosties, and myself for being a genuis, i could also thank mother for buying the frosties + frosted flakes, and mr king for providing the webspace and an audience to read this crap, but i won't because i am a git.
Written by The Robe
rob.hendy@btinternet.com