If you have ever been to one of the so called ‘LAN Parties’ that are run ever so often, you will understand the fascination with Barry White. In fact – every time you arrive – the sounds of ‘Lets Get It On’.

HOWEVER, there are certain key facts, which you will have to understand before we get any further into this tale of deceit and tragedy.

1) Barry White Is Black
2) The Song “Lets Get It On” is actually by Marvin Gaye
3) Nobody at the LAN really enjoys the music from the aforementioned.

The original source of “The White” is unclear – there are rumours that Pandy downloaded the song(s) for the comedy value – maybe after seeing Mr White on the classic Apple Computer ‘iTunes’ advert. There is even the ‘crazy’ rumour that I downloaded the song for comedy – due to my sudden ability to download anything (due to broadband abilities). In fact – there were thousands of songs that I downloaded using my broadband, including Mr White, but I was not the original source.

I believe that ‘the source’ of ‘the contamination’ was the right honourable Justin. A. T. M. B. King. For he was the supplier, and the supplier was he.

And that. My friends. Is that?

Now, why do we listen to “The White”? The real reason is unclear. However – may I present to you some KEY facts?

1) Due to unseen reasons – the ‘crew’ have a fascination with words ending in ‘eh’ for example “Hendeh”, “Pandeh”, “Randeh”, and of course “Bareh”. My idea is that – the “White” phenomenon – originated from the humorous insults thrown towards Barr’eh Mann (The Dustbin Man). During the time of the early profiles, whilst we were still at retard-school. We were often tempted by the stupidity shown by the Mann, and thus he was detailed as someone that was known. For he was known. And that is not under scrutiny.

2) The words of the white are deep, and knowledgeable – the crew find them pleasing – almost up to the state that we call ‘Hypnotic Isisome’. The point at which Alan becomes cheerful, turns of the fans in his ‘machine’ and makes gyrating groin movements towards the others.

3) Barry whites name is memorable as being to words – Barry (a common name), and white (a common colour). Thus when thinking of a comical song to play, it is one that hits home the closest that is always chosen.

4) The music played is full of ‘bass’ (deep, low). This sound is one of the easiest to be heard in the LAN environment – over the treble filled buzz from the machines, and myself.

As can be seen from the above – Mr White has everything, and so I believe that he is the greatest musician of all time. If he were here – I’m sure that he would say:

“Lets Get It On”.

Article Written by Rawson