I was just sitting in the chair minding my own business trying to organise the contents of my hard disk, when I was struck by a plan of such complexity and fundamental originality – that it would be impossible to ignore. The idea, it would seem, would be to work out whether certain members of society are indeed as crazy as they make out.

Now – if you were to look at someone like me, you will see obvious craziness. I mean – most of my time is spent on ‘schemes’ and other such merriment.

So, the subject of today’s examination is one David F Randall. Codename: Randy
Let the examination commence:

Craziness Levels Available: Foundation, Regular, Merit, Special, Advanced.
Criteria for Marking: Extremities, Average, Lowest, Memorable, Outlook.

Extremities: Merit
Whilst Dave’s extremities are few and far between, when he does do something crazy he tends to keep it real. One of those crazy extremities would be the e-mail to Cracknall’s Crackdown, which read (roughly):

Dear James
I’m so exited about this new e-mail system that I’m making whooping noises.
Chars
Randy
Thus, he is given the merit award for high level incursions – which are sadly infrequent. This one example still haunts father Randy.

Average: Regular
Reasoning: Randy’s day to day average craziness level is actually quite low, whilst he tries, many of his ‘crazy’ activities would be shown as less crazy than others. He has a good standing on the James issue’s – which relate to his long term friendship with the deceased, but other than that, most incursions are relatively non-controversial. Controversy, of course, is the ultimate height of craziness.

Lowest: Regular
Whilst most would have foundation craziness as their lowest level, Randy has Regular – quite feet. This reflects the fact that even in tense situations (such as the exams of 2002) he can still remain calm enough to laugh and insult people – namely me.

Memorable: Merit
Once again linking back to ‘the Cracknall message’ in the way that it (still) haunts him – I give another Merit mark for good old Randy.

Outlook: Foundation
Sadly, this is the area where Randy lets himself down. His outlook shows occluded fronts, which relate to his inhuman ability to not get locked out during the account blocking scandal. This only shows that he obviously was not crazy enough to use 1337 hax0r tools on the school network.

So in conclusion, I give Randy a Merit reward for his general craziness.
Well done Randy.

This article will appear next in ‘from Robert Hendy with love’

Article Written by Rawson