MAIN » ARTICLESThe Iain Rawson Experience, part 4
Dr Rog’s Diary: Week 595, Day 4165-4171
Sunday:
I spent most of today watering plants in the greenhouse we had delivered last week. It was last Tuesday when Dr. Randy recieved a call from an unnamed source telling him we had won a 'Dirty Green Fingers' competition, although we couldn't remember who had entered it. They were unable to deliver, but we were told we could pick it up from the warehouse of our local garden centre. At first we were slowed down by the security guard and the padlocked doors, but not long later we were racing down the motorway in Groundsman Kent's Clio with our prize strapped to the roof heading for the home.
Gardening fever then hit the institute and we decided to buy a plant to put inside the greenhouse, Dr. Randy wanted an oak tree but we finally decided on a Common Corncockle (Agrostemma githago) by anonymous ballot, and ordered it from amazon. By the Thursday we had realised that Amazon don't sell plants and so there was another trip to the garden centre to pick one up. On the way back Dave wanted to pick up a hitchhiker - "We can't stop here!" I proclaimed, "This is bat country!".
Dr. Shields decided to stay there and apply for a part-time job on the checkout whilst Jay proclaimed it to be 'National Indoor Gardening Week' back at The Institute.
Monday:
For a couple of weeks now every Monday has been 'Shrove Tuesday' during which the others insist on making between 40 and 50 pancakes in the morning just to hide in my bed and then wait to shout 'SHROVE' when I find them. I saved myself the hassle by staying in bed all day pretending to be asleep. A Discovery Channel special on the JFK Assassination was on in the evening, but unfortunately I didn't have a television.
Tuesday:
I woke up in a sea of pancakes and sighed. I made my way to the observation room on Operations Deck 3 to check on the subject. Dr. Randy was in there reading Time Magazine and eating a bagel, "Where do these damn bagles keep coming from!?" I wondered before deciding I couldn't be bothered to do any work and went back to bed.
Wednesday:
There was nothing to do today so we decided to carry out a routine physical examination of the subject. We suspended the brain from the ceiling using some Police TapeTM borrowed from Technician Hardcastle's quarters and reached for our inflatable mallets.
Artist's Impression
It was important to test his resistence to such a beating incase we were ever invaded by small children, high on a recent visit to alton towers. After the physical test we went out to the vending machine in corridor to buy some maltesers, unfortunately I left my keycard in the room and we were locked out. The subject looked quite happy, so we left him and went to pick Dr. Shields up from work.
Thursday:
Nothing to report.
Friday:
Today I fancied a pizza, so I found the number for Dominoes in the yellow pages and ordered a large ham and pineapple with a garlic baguette on the side. I didn't feel like sharing so I took it to Utility Basement B and sat in a cupboard for the rest of the day. I heard some screams through the ventilation system but I couldn't draw any useful conclusions from it.
Saturday:
The monitors show movement in the elevator coming down from reception. The emitted heat is too great to be that of a human! It's simply far too god damn improbable. I have hidden under the bed in Dr. Randy's room (lower) and am writing this using my own blood and a scalpel I found in my back pocket. I wait.
Written by Jay
Sunday:
I spent most of today watering plants in the greenhouse we had delivered last week. It was last Tuesday when Dr. Randy recieved a call from an unnamed source telling him we had won a 'Dirty Green Fingers' competition, although we couldn't remember who had entered it. They were unable to deliver, but we were told we could pick it up from the warehouse of our local garden centre. At first we were slowed down by the security guard and the padlocked doors, but not long later we were racing down the motorway in Groundsman Kent's Clio with our prize strapped to the roof heading for the home.
Gardening fever then hit the institute and we decided to buy a plant to put inside the greenhouse, Dr. Randy wanted an oak tree but we finally decided on a Common Corncockle (Agrostemma githago) by anonymous ballot, and ordered it from amazon. By the Thursday we had realised that Amazon don't sell plants and so there was another trip to the garden centre to pick one up. On the way back Dave wanted to pick up a hitchhiker - "We can't stop here!" I proclaimed, "This is bat country!".
Dr. Shields decided to stay there and apply for a part-time job on the checkout whilst Jay proclaimed it to be 'National Indoor Gardening Week' back at The Institute.
Monday:
For a couple of weeks now every Monday has been 'Shrove Tuesday' during which the others insist on making between 40 and 50 pancakes in the morning just to hide in my bed and then wait to shout 'SHROVE' when I find them. I saved myself the hassle by staying in bed all day pretending to be asleep. A Discovery Channel special on the JFK Assassination was on in the evening, but unfortunately I didn't have a television.
Tuesday:
I woke up in a sea of pancakes and sighed. I made my way to the observation room on Operations Deck 3 to check on the subject. Dr. Randy was in there reading Time Magazine and eating a bagel, "Where do these damn bagles keep coming from!?" I wondered before deciding I couldn't be bothered to do any work and went back to bed.
Wednesday:
There was nothing to do today so we decided to carry out a routine physical examination of the subject. We suspended the brain from the ceiling using some Police TapeTM borrowed from Technician Hardcastle's quarters and reached for our inflatable mallets.
Artist's Impression
It was important to test his resistence to such a beating incase we were ever invaded by small children, high on a recent visit to alton towers. After the physical test we went out to the vending machine in corridor to buy some maltesers, unfortunately I left my keycard in the room and we were locked out. The subject looked quite happy, so we left him and went to pick Dr. Shields up from work.
Thursday:
Nothing to report.
Friday:
Today I fancied a pizza, so I found the number for Dominoes in the yellow pages and ordered a large ham and pineapple with a garlic baguette on the side. I didn't feel like sharing so I took it to Utility Basement B and sat in a cupboard for the rest of the day. I heard some screams through the ventilation system but I couldn't draw any useful conclusions from it.
Saturday:
The monitors show movement in the elevator coming down from reception. The emitted heat is too great to be that of a human! It's simply far too god damn improbable. I have hidden under the bed in Dr. Randy's room (lower) and am writing this using my own blood and a scalpel I found in my back pocket. I wait.
Written by Jay