MAIN » ARTICLESWhere Beards Wag all: Part II
So I awoke Saturday morning, dazed and confused, no hang-over but still a
bit drunk. Shieldsy filled me in on the
goings on of the last night and I felt somewhat humbled. After much sitting
about doing not very much at all
(a running theme in uni life), we desided to get some lads together to play
some tennis and footy. We managed to get
me, shields, John, Arf and Pat. As we were planning to do doubles someone
voted that Pat should be ball boy, poor lad.
Now I havent played tennis since non-GCSE PE with Rawson, and I played like a wet kipper back then so after three years things could only have gone downhill. The game was set, it was me and John vs Shields and Arf, now John is a pretty good player as is Arf and Shields can certainly hit a ball better than I can, so in the first set it went to 3-0 to Shields and Arf, which was not a surprise to me, but then my form improved and we managed to end the set 6-4, to Shields and Arf. In the second set we were up 3-0 but then it went to 3-3 and we all got quite bored and desided to stop playing. Then Craig (another random uni guy) turned up, and we desided to play a new game 'Tennis football'.
The rules of Tennis Football:
We then walked home, tired and somewhat dishearted I kept quite quiet. We arrived home after the 15 minuite or so walk I had a shower in preparation for the evening of drinking. We started down at the SU, people coming out were, me, Shields, Ozzy, Arf, Dan, Charlie (a lady), Alex (dans friend from somewhere else) and Pat. I proceeded to drink about 7 VKs but this didnt really have any affect because of the night before. I think we walked to town and went to The Swan in because some guy on the Lacrosse team that Ozzy knew was working on the bar and he got us some cheap, ultra strong drinks. They were probably about 75% Vodka - 25% coke, but again this did not really have any affect on me. Dan managed to drop one of his drinks and the glass went everywhere, also it was on a wooden floor and the pub was packed and everyone turned round. I gave Ozzy 20p to put in a gambler and he won me £2, not bad really. Ozzy was pretty far gone on that night from what I remember, because we were clinking glasses and he found it hilarious, when really it wasnt actually funny at all.
We then went to the club (not sure on times), it was called Fez. We were on the guest list because Dan knew someone on the door (its all about who you know). We eventually got in after queueing in the wrong qu for ages, The club was a nice size It had 2 floors and lounge typ areas with sofas etc. My first point of call was the tiolet, where there was the token black guy, though it must be a bit more classy back home because in Zest etc they usually say "freshen up for the ladies" but over in Cheltenham its "freshen up for the pussy", go figure. Because I mean if you were really freshening up for the pussy you would have to give your cock a wash and I hope he wasnt going to do that for me. Also I have always wonder if they have some woman in the Ladies that says "freshen up for some cock", I cant see it. But we all know what goes on the Ladies anyway, lesbian sex, thats why they always go together and put the hand-dryer on, to cover the screams of passion. Well its my theory anyway.
Well I got out of the tiolet and we danced for a bit, Shields and Arf went home at about 12:00am because they were tired. My aim was to pull, and I certainly tried, at first it was a bit strange, Ozzy helped me out by saying he would go dance with the fat ugly friend of some fit girl (funny how you always get that) that I could dance with, I chickened out so Ozzy went and danced with the fit one himself, but the fat friend ruined it later by saying they should leave, bitch.
But after that I went and bought the most expensive drink ever, a doudle vodka and red bull for £6.50!, After being shafted by the small chinese guy behind the bar, I went back to the dance floor, and tried it on with some ladies. Let me just say it went well.
We stayed right till the end which was about 2:00am, we all got kicked out and went and had some food. I had 2 chicken burgers, that were very nice from a place called roosters. We had to wait for Dan and Pat for ages as they wanted cheesey ships for the most popular place. Some of us said we should walk home but we were with Charlie and she had high heels on and was having trouble walking, so we decided to try and get a Taxi, after much looking about and walking in the worng direction, we eventually came to the conclusion that we wernt going to find a Taxi.
So I offered Charlie my semi-soggy socks, as she said she could do the walk in socks. We started the treck home and then about 2 minuites down the road a taxi came along and it was a people carrier so we could all get in.
We were home in about 5 minuites as we broke the speed limit all the way back. Ozzy took me home and Shields was still just about up, we watched Lee Evans: Live in Scotland, for about half and hour and then I drifted off into a deep sleep. More storys from the trip coming soon...
Jameson
@Mungos Den
Now I havent played tennis since non-GCSE PE with Rawson, and I played like a wet kipper back then so after three years things could only have gone downhill. The game was set, it was me and John vs Shields and Arf, now John is a pretty good player as is Arf and Shields can certainly hit a ball better than I can, so in the first set it went to 3-0 to Shields and Arf, which was not a surprise to me, but then my form improved and we managed to end the set 6-4, to Shields and Arf. In the second set we were up 3-0 but then it went to 3-3 and we all got quite bored and desided to stop playing. Then Craig (another random uni guy) turned up, and we desided to play a new game 'Tennis football'.
The rules of Tennis Football:
- There are 3 people on each team
- The ball must only bounce once on your side
- You can control the ball and pass it around your team mates
- You get one serve
- To score the ball must stay in the tennis court bounderys
- You can control it outside the boundries and kick it back in
We then walked home, tired and somewhat dishearted I kept quite quiet. We arrived home after the 15 minuite or so walk I had a shower in preparation for the evening of drinking. We started down at the SU, people coming out were, me, Shields, Ozzy, Arf, Dan, Charlie (a lady), Alex (dans friend from somewhere else) and Pat. I proceeded to drink about 7 VKs but this didnt really have any affect because of the night before. I think we walked to town and went to The Swan in because some guy on the Lacrosse team that Ozzy knew was working on the bar and he got us some cheap, ultra strong drinks. They were probably about 75% Vodka - 25% coke, but again this did not really have any affect on me. Dan managed to drop one of his drinks and the glass went everywhere, also it was on a wooden floor and the pub was packed and everyone turned round. I gave Ozzy 20p to put in a gambler and he won me £2, not bad really. Ozzy was pretty far gone on that night from what I remember, because we were clinking glasses and he found it hilarious, when really it wasnt actually funny at all.
We then went to the club (not sure on times), it was called Fez. We were on the guest list because Dan knew someone on the door (its all about who you know). We eventually got in after queueing in the wrong qu for ages, The club was a nice size It had 2 floors and lounge typ areas with sofas etc. My first point of call was the tiolet, where there was the token black guy, though it must be a bit more classy back home because in Zest etc they usually say "freshen up for the ladies" but over in Cheltenham its "freshen up for the pussy", go figure. Because I mean if you were really freshening up for the pussy you would have to give your cock a wash and I hope he wasnt going to do that for me. Also I have always wonder if they have some woman in the Ladies that says "freshen up for some cock", I cant see it. But we all know what goes on the Ladies anyway, lesbian sex, thats why they always go together and put the hand-dryer on, to cover the screams of passion. Well its my theory anyway.
Well I got out of the tiolet and we danced for a bit, Shields and Arf went home at about 12:00am because they were tired. My aim was to pull, and I certainly tried, at first it was a bit strange, Ozzy helped me out by saying he would go dance with the fat ugly friend of some fit girl (funny how you always get that) that I could dance with, I chickened out so Ozzy went and danced with the fit one himself, but the fat friend ruined it later by saying they should leave, bitch.
But after that I went and bought the most expensive drink ever, a doudle vodka and red bull for £6.50!, After being shafted by the small chinese guy behind the bar, I went back to the dance floor, and tried it on with some ladies. Let me just say it went well.
We stayed right till the end which was about 2:00am, we all got kicked out and went and had some food. I had 2 chicken burgers, that were very nice from a place called roosters. We had to wait for Dan and Pat for ages as they wanted cheesey ships for the most popular place. Some of us said we should walk home but we were with Charlie and she had high heels on and was having trouble walking, so we decided to try and get a Taxi, after much looking about and walking in the worng direction, we eventually came to the conclusion that we wernt going to find a Taxi.
So I offered Charlie my semi-soggy socks, as she said she could do the walk in socks. We started the treck home and then about 2 minuites down the road a taxi came along and it was a people carrier so we could all get in.
We were home in about 5 minuites as we broke the speed limit all the way back. Ozzy took me home and Shields was still just about up, we watched Lee Evans: Live in Scotland, for about half and hour and then I drifted off into a deep sleep. More storys from the trip coming soon...
Jameson
@Mungos Den