Shout out: "Behold! I am the Crazy one! Watch me frolick like a manbeast" (Then frolick around like a crazy man)

Start everything you say with "My therapist says that I am not allowed to say things like:.."

Snarl at random objects

When you rhyme and talk, they like your fork.

Try and get naked before anyone else in the room does (you can make it a little personal race).

Smear vegemite on your nipples

Then try and get someone to lick it off "Excuse me my name is Dick Burn. Lick my nipples."

Pretend you are perfectly normal. You can do this by saying things like "I AM actually perfectly normal you know" to anyone that can hear you.

1. Pull your pants right up under your armpits
2. Muss up your hair and put some straw in it
3. Only buy clothes from an op-shop
4. Every item in a crazy ensemble must be of a different color.
5. Wear cowboy boots with spurs
6. Wear fancy dress
7. Wear a pink Tutu

1. Slouch
2. Alternate your facial expressions : sneer and scowl and then smile like you know whats REALLY going on.
3. Rock back and forth.
4. Slobber. A lot.
5. Develop several nervous twitches.
6. Gargle your slobber
7. Roll your eyes around
8. Wring your hands together furiously
9. Always hold your mouth open and if you have a saggy tongue this is even better!
10. Hold your hairy ball sacks in your hands.

A crazy person has difficulty getting a girlfriend:

Leave personal articles of your sexy love inside their room to show the extent of your passion.

Try and kiss them. Or try to have sex with them.

Kill their husband. This will clarify any confusion they may be having about their love for you

Do random sexy things

Never hear their words if they try and say they don't want you (they are just delusional at this stage and ignoring them simply makes them understand that they actually DO love you)

If you are having a bit of a lovers tiff you could always romantically kidnap her and take them away with you for a bit of a local holiday to the countryside to give them a different perspective of you and also a chance to spend some close bonding time.

When you call for your first date, the following tips will ensure a lasting romantic impression:

1. Use a deep, husky and sexy voice, this makes women real hot and horny.
2. Woman always love a fit man
   -If you go for a long run, just before you call, then they will think you are into fitness and must be buff!.
3. A girl actually secretly likes a man that really tells them exactly what to do and knows how to take control(despite what they may say)
   -Make sure you sound loud, demanding and controlling. No one likes a Wishy Washy Man.
   
4. All woman like to be swept off her feet by an increadibly romantic and sexy guy.
   -Deliver 10 pairs of your underwear to make your intentions clear
   -Write a rhyming poem about your penis.
   
5. I often hear women talk about how they want a mysterious man".
   -Sound mysterious on the phone, I have found by far the best way you can do this by saying mysterious things.
   
6. Woman don't like being unsure about a first date
   -Make sure you explain in great detail the sort of sex you will be having (to impress her).
   -Explain exactly what will happen if she doesn't come along (See item 3).

"Normal, crazy, normal yes yes yes.."

"Hmmm Hello there my little pretties"

"Murder isn't nice..don't kill the nice bunnies.."

"I can feel my manhood!"

"What the HELL do you think you are looking at!" (this is really good one to say to a mirror)

"Hi there!! I am very PROUD and I sell AMWAY, how many dollars, have you?!"

"WE ARE ALL NAKED UNDER OUR UGLY CLOTHES"

"Yee haar!!! I am a Cowboy / Astronaut / Zulu / Dickhead /"