how to hack: a guide


CHAPTER 1 language

using the correct language when talking to others about your equipment is quite essential, if you sound like you don't know what you're doing, they'll never take you seriously, and you could become the topic of office jokes, etc.
Also, in this hi tech world that we inhabit, there is a lot of technology that can actually hear and understand what you are saying, and in extreme cases, know what you are thinking! hence the old saying, 'it can smell your fear' this means that if you are shouting at your computer for freezing, it is less likely to coperate if you call it a useless and steaming pile of dog sh*te. It much prefers 'outdated, underpowered and unresponsive'

so, when talking do use:

action words such as

hack

download / upload

configure

process

machinery words such as

mainframe

electron microscope

floppy disk / floppy disk drive

descriptive words such as

imbecile

cretin

shocking

ghastly

don't use:

thing

doodah

tappety tappety tap

douge-a-ma-flip

crash

by combining the 'do use' words, and avoiding the 'don't use' words you can create some quite impressive phrases, such as:

"some cretin has accessed my electron microscope floppy drive, and caused a ghastly malfunction, which could affect the mainframe throughput"

try to avoid common words such as 'crash' 'virus' and 'broken' as your audience could think that you are just repeating a few buzz-words to try and impress them.




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