Paul: “Jameson I am your father”

Jameson: “doh”

My dad, my influence to doing stupid things. This is an article celebrating my fathers stupidity and incredibly bad luck. I will tell you as much as I can remember.

There was an incident on one of his trails, well a motorbike trail, where you ride around Britain a bit on a motorbike, err yay. Any way you can also use cars. My Grandad had made a 3 wheeled open top car out of a old Citron, hey come on he‘s a Davey what did you expect that it would have four wheels?

Anyway My dad was preparing the car for the trail and he accidentally banged his head on the exhaust pipe which caused him to have a circular cut on his head that was constantly bleeding. Not phased by this my dad went ahead with the trail.

He was on a section of the trail where you had to go up a hill, my auntie who goes with him on the trails was driving. They hit a rock and the one back wheel skidded and the car turned sideways and started rolling down the hill. My auntie was thrown out of the rolling car and my dad was left to hang on. It stopped rolling and landed on him. He wasn’t that hurt probably because he was wearing a helmet but only because his head was still bleeding from the exhaust incident. We do have the crash on video so come and see it when you want.

Another incident was when he was putting on his shirt. He got a bit stuck and started running round the house shouting “help I’m stuck” luckily my mum was there to get him out.

He has dropped thousands of things on his feet so I won’t even go into that.

Now fire. Yes this crazy man has had an incident with fire. He was at Brockford which is a old railway station. He likes old trains. Anyway he had some petrol that he had to get rid of. So he set up a big pile of sticks and leaves and stuff that burns. He then poured the petrol over one side of the heap he then went round the other side of it to light it. You see he thought he was being smart because the petrol was on the other side but he forgot to take into account that petrol is a liquid and that it can spread quickly. He also forgot that his lighter was not very good and did not light for a while giving the petrol more time to spread.

He eventually managed to light it and it exploded, blasting him back and his hat blew off also. He had very bad burns to his face and also lost lots of hair so he had no eye brows for quite a while. He has now fully recovered.

The funny thing is whenever he hurts himself he does a little dance round the room holding whatever part of the body was injured, ask me and I will demonstrate.

Only the other day he walked into a wall, he’s been ill lately and it has caused him to hobble around. So he was picking something up at work and he managed to stand up again, turn round and successfully walk into a wall.

I rip the piss out of him for this kind of stuff so he will do anything to stop me from finding out but my mum always tells me.

There is more but I cannay remember it.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Jameson
@his fathers side

Article Written by Jameson
jugsy_the_bugsy@hotmail.com