Following our recent revelation that British police dog handlers masturbate their dogs, we've been deluged with new information from dog-wankers and their friends.

Here's what we have learned this week:

1. Police dog handlers wank their dogs to stop them feeling stressed, and also to bond with them.

2. Sometimes dog handlers pay someone else (usually a teenage son) to wank their dog. The going rate seems to be five pounds a go.

3. Some farmers masturbate their sheep dogs, to make them more loyal.

4. Sheep and Police dogs that get regular hand-jobs are much easier to train

5. In New York, stressed dogs get sent to yoga classes. "Doga" is sponsored by gym chain Crunch. The Downward Facing Dog position is especially popular.

6. Doga: Yoga for Dogs is published by Chronicle Books in September, for anyone sick of having to wank the dog.

(FYI if you are an 18-25 year-old boy with a pretty face who prefers to masturbate himself, apply to info@happyfilm.org, who want to film you for a DVD. They say "dick size not important".)


Episode 4: Happy Horsey Handjob!



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