I remember the time when a cucumber was straight and was ALWAYS straight, curved cucumbers were always destroyed at harvest and so the people were unaware of the grotesque bending that took place. If a ‘commoner’ was to see a ‘misshapen’ cucumber – he was always quickly fobbed off with excuses such as: “It was in an accident” or “its a freak”. Nowadays however, ‘benders’ have a much larger influence on society. Following on from the “French rights campaigns” of the early 1960s- camp cucumbers have had a much larger profile in today’s modern world. They are now respected members of today’s society and are being sold for almost as much as the regular straight cucumbers. Of course all cucumbers are naturally slightly bent, even the spawning cucumbers, that - when sliced open along the belly and rubbed onto bare ground – grow into new cucumbers. I mean – even some radishes are gay.

* Note: Not actually a guarantee – if you can find sense in my ramblings please e-mail: Sessodio@mac.com