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  December 21st
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ARTICLES
the speech
(I don't know why I allow this - Jay)

Through a partnership with Shieldsey
- we wrote the following speech on the theme of 'animals deserve more rights in our society':

Me: Monkeys, Monkeys, Monkeys. Over to Chris

Chris: Monkeys MUST make good astronauts - have any of you EVER seen a bad monkey Astronaut (Or Cosmonaut if from Russia)

Me: Have you ever seen drunk and disorderly animals starting riots (excluding Scousers)

Chris: Would you rather trust your life to an angry stressed out bus driver - or to a duck. Remember - the ducks are always cheerful (like in the toilet duck advert)

Me: Who do you think would make the best teacher. An angry balding old man - or lively blind moles that cant see your poor level of work.

Chris: just think - if polar bears were barkeeps - they'd always bring you tonnes of coke and be your point of stress relief.

Me: Who's your best friend - your dog of your wife?

Chris: Think - the Andrex Puppy. Think - the Charmin Ultra Bear. They invented toilet paper - don't they deserve credit.

Me: So in conclusion - don't smoke.

As you can see - a total waste of time.

Article Written by Rawson
sessodio@mac.com

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