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The First TON Annual Survey

This list was compiled based on the responses to a highly detailed and flawless personality and evaluation test compiled by the online net in February 2002 and is not at all 100% accurate to three decimal points.


  1. The quickest response to the test was:
    1hr 56mins by Rawson
  2. The slowest response to the test was:
    7days 23hrs 47mins by Ryan
  3. 30% of visiters conjure up images of men in tights whenever they hear the word 'blacksmith'.
  4. The participant unable to answer the most questions was: Ryan
  5. Most people claim to know the Robe better than Alan.
  6. 60% of people agree that murder can be committed anywhere as long as it's by the butler.
  7. 5 in every 10 people watch MTV2, 2 in every 10 watch MTV Base & the remaining 3 in every 10 admit to not having Satellite or Cable.
  8. The majority of visiters were born in Ipswich or one of the surrounding fields.
  9. Average test-completion time was over 90 minutes.
  10. 50% knew Napoleon was French, but the Robe thought he was English or Italian, before conceeding he didn't know.
  11. The participant who made the most bad jokes in the test was: Rog
  12. The most times someone felt the need to remind me they were not gay in their answers: twice.
  13. Most people returned the test between 18:00 and 23:00.
  14. Most people chose to answer 'Do You Visit The Online Net?' sarcastically.
  15. 30% associated the word 'Classic' with Take That.
  16. On the same subject, If you were to say "take that" to the average TON visiter, they would be most likely to take Food or Women.
  17. Most people would rather lose someone else's tongue than their own.
  18. 50% of visiters think of 'the humour' when they think of TON.
  19. The participant with the most Mp3s was Ryan with "half a million".
  20. 3 people asked me if they looked stupid during the test, I restrained from answering all three.
  21. 50% of people couldn't see any money from where they took the test, the most anyone could see was £600
  22. Most people think the longest period of time Alan has lended out a CD is 2-3 days.
  23. Most people use blue ink over black.
  24. Num Lock is on for the majority of visiters.
  25. 70% correctly predicted that Lee Bowyer wouldn't go the World Cup this year.
  26. The Online Net's visiters are torn between red and black lingerie, as to which is their favourite.
  27. 60% of people don't trust men with beards, 10% say it depends on the length, 10% are willing to make exceptions and 20% do trust them.
  28. The Question that brought up the most indecisive answers was:
    55. Is one in the hand worth two in the bush?
  29. Most visiters to TON this year will prefer Tesco over Sainsburys, but those who say Sainsbury's are 100% more likely to tell you why.
  30. Most people would take a bacon sandwich if you offered them one, but 30% of these people would then say they'd prefer something else.
  31. Everyone's test went up to 81 questions, except Ryan's, which went to 82. 50% agreed it shouldn't have gone up to 100, 40% thought it should have and 10% didn't really care by that point.
  32. I was threatened with violence 3 times overall.
  33. Only 1 person chose to make their answers easy to read.
  34. Most people would like to die in their 80's and only Rawson didn't answer that question seriously.
  35. The majority have not recieved a large delivery of FedEX boxes, but would like one.
  36. Only 40% are willing to accept they are not important.
  37. The most popular activites after filling out the test were eating, sleeping and using the phone.
  38. No-one likes Garage Music
  39. Gareth thought that Tracey from 'Fat Club' would be the best person to play the Jolly Fat Postman.
  40. 1 person used a 'your mum' joke
  41. 1 person asked if they could phone a friend
  42. 1 Person chose to mention Andrew Ainsworth's genitalia.
  43. Music is playing inside every visiter's head when they look at TON.
  44. Most people had a real Christmas tree in 2001
  45. Most people don't pay attention to the music charts
  46. 3% of the males who visit the online net respect women
  47. Most visiters are paranoid most of the time
  48. Among the bands listed as 'Favourite Bands of all time' were:
    Sum 41, Manic Street Preachers, Dire Straits, Oasis, Feeder, Nirvana, Suede, Led Zepplin, System of a Down, Alien Ant Farm, Queen, the Beach Boys, the Beatles and Blink 182 twice.
  49. Among the suggestions for my next fish's name were:
    Terance, Barbara, Thumberlina, Fish, Jennifer, Miss Atkinson, Toodaloo & Dead Man
  50. The average visiter is intellectually inferior to the creators of The Online Net (http://www.theonlinenet.co.uk).

Written by Jay