99 Reasons why this page is useless

I'm not talking about TheOnlineNet, but this page. The one you are on now and I present to you 99 reasons why it is useless:

  1. It has no background
  2. I'm not making any money from it
  3. You are not making any money from it
  4. You don't deserve to make money
  5. It's my page
  6. And the robe's
  7. The right mouse button isn't disabled
  8. This page has only two fonts on it
  9. And is in black and white
  10. You are not gaining anything by reading this
  11. Your IQ is still below the national average
  12. It contains no intellectual content
  13. Your phone bill
  14. Not mine
  15. I don’t have to pay call charges
  16. You are the one reading this, I only made it
  17. AOL? You fool
  18. The standard of this page is below that of the others
  19. Reading all 99 takes too long
  20. It is taking quite along time to write them
  21. Even at the end it will seem pointless
  22. As if it doesn't know
  23. You still won't get your hands on a Ps2
  24. But I did, pre-order.
  25. 1/4 there
  26. It is/was wasting 4kb of your bandwidth loading it
  27. You could be doing something more worthwhile
  28. Like listening to music or spending money on something not useless
  29. It's not as funny as other pages on the site
  30. Doesn't even come close
  31. Which explains why it is not in the humor section
  32. It's in the life section
  33. You don't have a life if you are reading this
  34. The robe doesn't have a clue
  35. It's a copy of a similar idea
  36. And they had over 150 reasons and we only have 99
  37. It's poor
  38. Your modem could be doing better things
  39. As could your body
  40. Get some exercise!
  41. Because it is
  42. This page is useless because
  43. It won't make you live longer
  44. It won't stop lung cancer
  45. Or indeed any other disease or medical condition
  46. Except maybe sleep
  47. It is boring
  48. It is plain
  49. It is not worthy of the internet
  50. It takes up valuable online space
  51. It could be taking up space which could be filled by a jennifer lopez picture
  52. Or two
  53. It wont help you get a job
  54. A life
  55. Or a girlfriend/boyfriend/other
  56. Now I think about it there is no point to this
  57. Or anything
  58. 99 lines of what?
  59. Poorly dispersed advice from a dying legend
  60. DVDs are better and contain more colorful images of joy
  61. Denise Richards
  62. It won't sing you to sleep
  63. Or read you a story
  64. Talk to you at night
  65. Or keep you warm when the fire goes out
  66. Or be your company on those lonely winter nights
  67. It won't give you mouth to mouth if you die
  68. It won't be there when you call
  69. The $/£ store still doesn't sell things at over $/£
  70. It could be shorter
  71. It could be quicker
  72. More interesting
  73. Beautiful
  74. There's only so much you can do with a page
  75. And 99 reasons is one too many
  76. It's an HTML and not ASP page
  77. There is no Java or Flash or other
  78. It won't clean the house
  79. It won't make the bed
  80. It will never bring you breakfast in bed
  81. Or listen to your crying through the night
  82. It won't be there to catch you when you fall
  83. Do the washing up
  84. Or take out the trash
  85. It will never live up to your expectations
  86. It will never be updated
  87. It was made on a Saturday
  88. I didn't put 100% into it
  89. Probably about 60%
  90. At times I rushed it
  91. More important things
  92. Like a new PC
  93. To make more pages like this one
  94. Only 6 left, or is it 7? Who knows
  95. Men break wind on average 15 times a day, women just as often
  96. The discovery channel is officially more boring
  97. It does not represent the interests of TON.
  98. TON = the online net
  99. There is no ending sentence to draw this madness to a close